Tagann Coiste Forbartha an Bhaile le chéile
Aontaíonn gach éinne gur éigeandáil atá ann
‘Cad faoin Reilig Phrotastúnach?’ arsa Leiftí
‘Níl éinne á húsáid níos mó –
Agus tá slí inti do chúpla céad eile ar a laghad!’
Is annamh a ghlactar le moltaí Leiftí
ní ghlactar leis an moladh seo ach oiread.
‘Cuirigí leis na Protastúnaigh mé,’ arsa Leiftí,
‘is cuma liom sa phoc.’
‘Seachain do theanga! Led’ thoil!’
arsa Bean de Lása-Uí Mhóráin
‘Seachain do chuid fleiscíní tusa!’
arsa Leiftí ar ais léi.
Sos tae.
I ndiaidh an tsosa:
‘Gnó é seo don Chomhairle Contae!
Táimid ag moladh do dhaoine
gan bás a fháil,’ arsa an Cathaoirleach
‘go dtí go réiteofar an ghéarchéim seo’.
Glactar leis an rún d’aon ghuth.
Overcrowded Graveyard
The local rag announces that Glengower Graveyard is full.
The Development Committee gets together
all agree it’s an emergency
‘What about the Protestant Cemetery?‘ says Lefty
‘Sure there’s no one usin’ it any more –
room for hundreds in it!’
Lefty’s motions are seldom carried
nor is this one
‘Ye can bury me with the Prods,’ says Lefty
‘I don’t give a flyin’ fiddler’s fuck!
‘Watch your language! Please!’
admonishes Mrs de Lacy-Moran
‘Watch your hyphens! says Lefty back at her.
Tea break.
After the break:
‘This is a matter for the County Council!
We’re recommending,’ says the Chairman
‘that people don’t die
until this crisis has been resolved.’
The motion is carried unanimously.