Dán Ilteangach
Sciobadar na pitseámaí uaimse, arsa an tIndiach
They stole the pyjamas from me, said the Indian
Agus an mangó deireanach
And my last mango.
Maistíní! Tá an seampú imithe leis!
Thugs! The shampoo is gone as well!
Agus an bungaló féin
And even the bungalow.
Seo, bíodh braon slivovitz agat, arsa Crótach
Here, have a drop of slivovitz, says a Croat
(A raibh cuma an tsúmaire air)
(Who looked like a vampire)
Thógadar smidiríní uainne, arsa Gael
They took smithereens from us, says a Gael
Agus go leor eile, arsa Gael Albanach, a chlaíomh mór á bhagairt aige
And much else besides – galore!’ said a Scottish Gael, wielding his claymore.
Bíodh na smidiríní acu agus fáilte!
They’re welcome to the smithereens!
Lán de bhladhmann atá siad, arsa Peirseach agus é ag imirt fichille go ciúin leis féin
They are full of bombast, said a Persian, quietly playing chess with himself.
Níl aon srian orthu, arsa Indinéiseach, is lig osna
They run amok, sighed an Indonesian.
Mo bhúmaraing! Arsa Astrálach
My boomerang! says an Australian.
Chuaigh sí amú sa chlapsholas, déarfainn, arsa Albanach
I’d say it vanished in the gloaming, said a Scotsman.
Seans maith, arsa Ioruach a raibh cuma an leimín air agus aill á lorg aige
Quite likely, said a Norwegian who looked like a lemming in search of a cliff.
Xǐnǎo, a deir mo chara Sineach
Xǐnǎo, says my Chinese friend:
Múnlú inchinne!
Brainwashing!
Poncán! arsa cailín Dúitseach is déistin uirthi
Yankee! says a Dutch girl, in disgust
Gan trácht ar an mbruitíneach
Not to mention measles.
Ó, nach acu atá an chutzpah, a admhaíonn Giúdach
They have chutzpah, we’ll give them that, a Jew admits
Béigeal ó éinne?
Bagel, anybody?
Tógfadsa leis an mborsch é, arsa Úcránach
I’ll have one with my borsch, says an Ukrainian.
Tabhair don chorchú é, arsa fear na Breataine Bige
Give it to the corgi, says the Welshman.
Beidh ceann agamsa agus caife leis, arsa an Turcach
I’ll have one with my coffee, says the Turk.
Hé! Ce a sciob an béigeal uaim? An Béarlóir bréan sin!
Hey! Who stole my bagel? That smelly English speaker!
Ophidia in herba – nathair san fhéar – arsa múinteoir Laidine.
Ophidia in herba – a snake in the grass – said a Latin teacher.
Ba chóir é chur i sputnic! Fán fada air! arsa an Rúiseach
He should be put into a sputnik, said the Russian, and despatched to nowhere.
Gan de chomhluadar aige ach órang-útan, arsa Malaech
With only an orangutan for company, said a Malay
Agus brístí leathair air, arsa Gearmánach
One that wears lederhosen, said a German
Órang-útan a scríobhann haiku, arsa Seapánach mná
An orangutan that writes haiku said a Japanese lady
Agus dealramh an Tóraí air, arsa Éireannach
And looks like a Tory, said an Irishman
Agus gircín ina chaincín! arsa Polannach
With a gherkin up his nose, said the Pole.
An scunc! arsa an Meirindiach
The skunk! says the Native American.
Aontaím leat, arsa an Romanaí, éadaí ban air
I agree, says the Romany, in drag.
Ní gá dhuit náire ar bith a bheith ort, arsa an Portaingéalach
You needn’t be embarrassed, said the Portuguese.
An caipitleachas! a d’fhógair an tIodálach
Capitalism! exclaimed the Italian.
Is maith liom an tatú sin ort, arsa an Polainéiseach
I like your tattoo, said the Polynesian
An-osréalach, arsa Francach
Very surreal, said a Frenchman.
‘Bhfuil bríos ann? arsa Spáinneach
Is there a breeze? asked a Spaniard.
Níl, níl ann ach mé féin is mo yó-yó, arsa an Filipíneach
No, it’s just me and my yo-yo, says the Filipino.
Eureka! arsa an Gréagach
Eureka! said the Greek.
D’aimsigh sé a ucailéile, arsa Haváíoch
He has found his ukulele, said a Hawaiian.
Cén áit, san Áiféiseastáin? arsa Seiceach
Where, in Absurdistan? asked a Czech.
Tá sé in am agamsa gúláis a bheith agam, arsa an tUngárach
Time for my goulash, said the Hungarian.
